Free yourself from outside perceptions ladies. Live in your own light!
Let me start off with the fact that all my life, I’ve had to constantly work at confidence. And still do daily! In life, there will always be something that you feel unprepared for, someone who doesn’t like you, and trends that you don’t fit in with. More often than not though, we’re our own biggest critics! “I hate my skin!”;“My hair is not the right texture.”; “I’m too big for that boy to really like me.”; “Oh, she’s prettier than me!”; “I’m not smart enough.” ...These are just some of the things that us ladies tell ourselves. How can we ever expect to be confident and command respect when we are so hard on ourselves. How can we expect to go out into the world, slay, and make it our own if we’re afraid to stand strong and fearless in the skin we were born in? How can we expect men to fall at our feet if we don’t worship the ground that we walk on ourselves? The truth is...we can’t! Confidence is the beginning and end of it all!
Confidence gives you that extra strut when you walk, that extra sass when you talk, and that extra boldness to get exactly what you want! The definition of confidence is described as a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. In other words, confidence is having the ability to understand that you are good enough, you are unique, and you have the power to make life your own! Your life is your own story and you are the main character. Don’t let the lack of confidence stop you from filling in the pages!
So what is the ultimate guide to confidence?
First and foremost, make yourself your only competition!
Daily, Weekly, or Monthly affirmations. You can be your biggest critic or your own biggest supporter. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself positive things! “Girl, you know you look good today!”; “You are a smart and capable woman!”; “I’m my only competition.” ...say these things to yourself and just feel how your spirit lifts. I guarantee that your days will start off better already.
Surround yourself with supportive people! Spend time with people who are also confident, supportive, encouraging, and inspirational. You will begin to see that these traits will blossom within yourself. Get back in touch with your roots! Leverage POSITIVE family members and friends that you know want to see you succeed. Find groups of like-minded individuals who are interested in the same activities that you are...that way you can build your own unique friend base. Seek out people that you admire. Learn from them. Support these people in anyway that you can. Be a sponge! This is how you will begin to see your life transform in front of you. Come on back to Millennial Girls if you want to talk about a certain situation, need advice, or need support, this is a community too! The point is to find a community where you feel accepted, where you feel supported, and where you feel that you will blossom.
Ladies, you have to STOP the comparisons! It’s very easy to judge your life against another person’s life in this social -media obsessed world. I’ve had my own problems with this. Many people seem like they have the perfect life through their pictures and posts, and I’d naturally start to compare myself. I would start to feel a bit down about my current life status if someone seemed like they were more successful career-wise or business wise since I had not yet found my dream job or started my own business. I’ve also seen women online who were more fit than me and I’d start to envy her body and feel inadequate about my own fitness journey progress. I had to aggressively act to get myself out of this habit by focusing on my own life and putting in the work to get to where I want to be. If you have to take a break from social media just to get yourself back in the zone of focusing on your own life, then do so! You will never get to where you want to be by being constantly focused on others.
Set time blocks for yourself to strictly focus on what you need to be doing at that time. For instance, do what you need to do in “sprints”---whether that is actual work, workouts, errand runs, networking, etc. Give yourself an allotted time block where you focus only on that one task with no distractions. No going through your phone. No surfing the net. No outside conversations, etc. Just focus time. I usually give myself an hour time block of no distractions to get whatever I need to get done at that moment. This will help with confidence because you’ll start to really make gains with your to-do lists and you’ll have trust in yourself to get ANY job done.
Set small goals that you want to accomplish weekly. Whether that be an attainable weight loss for that week or completing a major project at work, cleaning a part of your house you never get to, or writing up that business plan. The point is to focus on smaller goals since focusing on the smaller changes will eventually have a BIG impact on your life. Small goals add up! When you accomplish these small goals, make sure you treat yourself! Maybe you can finally get that shirt that you saw at your favorite store, or maybe a desperately needed mani & pedi day, or sending the kids to a friend/parent/associates house to give yourself the night off, etc. Any little thing that will make you feel good about achieving the little goals you set, do it! And remember the small goals help attain the overall big goal, so never think that the little things don’t matter. Celebrating yourself will train you to get yourself out of that negative mindset and really focus on what’s important to you and what you’re good at! Achieving these small goals will build up your esteem!
Look in the mirror, in all your naturalness, and just celebrate who you are ladies! You’re a woman, stand in all that wonder and give yourself props. A little self-hype goes a long way!!! The motto for the Millennial Girl Gang from now on is “My only competition is me!”
Love you ladies!